I cannot stress enough how important it is to find the YOU that makes you sing “This Is Not A Phase”. The version of your identity that makes you want to buy a sticker dictating “This Is Who I Am”.
Personal growth has long been a staple of my life. Weight, mental stability and worldy perception, all things that were once dramatically different to now.
The phrase “I don’t really know when it happened, it just sort of did” gets thrown around a lot, I’ve said it myself. Yet when I think about it, although the largest epiphany did not occur til 2 years later, it started on the 28th September 2013 in Wembley arena, midway through a Paramore concert. Thrilled that I was finally seeing one of my favourite bands live I was already full of adrenaline and excitement. Then Hayley [Williams] took a moment to talk. Now hold on, this isn’t another of my posts confessing my love for them/her, this point genuinely made a huge impact. I cannot do the speech justice by regurgitating a broken memory of it, because I won’t lie and say I remember word for word. Yet the idea of it, the timing of it in my life, the significance within my progression cannot be understated. Watch a large part of it down below:
The reason I bring it up is because it got me thinking, about life, about what I let worry me and about what I let ruin times of happiness. As I said before it didn’t happen instantly but that day sparked my brains interest. The next day I went to Uni.
Yet another crucial element in my progression, but here me clearly, uni/higher education does not equal happiness or progression. Uni is a location and a platform whereby one can further themselves and discover their truths and their lies. But our own agency is a large part in the equation. No matter where you are or who you are with, unless you are open to change and locked on to the thought of betterment, then it will come.
One of my close friends took me aside on a night out the other day and told me he was proud of where I was. He said “I can see you know who you are,in weight,in hair, in style and I know that’s what you needed”. This meant a lot to me because it is true, it is what I needed and what I wanted. What, really, we all want and need.
This world can be cruel and unforgiving, but that does not mean we have to be, to others or ourselves. There is one truth we continue to deny and that is that we can always find a version of ourselves we our happy with, we are proud of, we are loving of. The other truth we deny on a regular basis is that the arrival of such a moment is simple, it is the journey which is not. The journey is exciting and invigorating but it is also frightening and doubt ridden. Regardless it will always be worth it.
If you find a passion,pursue it with infinite pride and embrace your doubts of your ability and twist them into tools.
If you wander upon a stray and fleeting idea of who you are, if it flashes for a moment and brings a smile to your face. Chase it.
But always remain awake, find your life and your reality, one that makes you scream “This Is Not A Phase”. The one that makes you wear the badge saying “Hello. My name is__” because now that name is a pleasure to introduce.
Liam Xavier 