First of all my plan for content on this blog is to write twice a week; Tuesday and Thursday is what I’m thinking so far, and I WILL keep to it this time. Maybe you’ll even get extra ones every now and again 😉
BUT NOW onto the subject. It’s an odd one and it’s a bloody nightmare. There are so many things in life: school, love, friendship, career etc that require decisions that often result in some form of waiting. At some point everyone goes through the same thought “Do I give up or do I hold on?”. More than often the answer is very cryptic and messed up, and generally speaking the line between when to let go and when to hold on is ridiculously thin. Is there actually one blanket answer that can be applied to every situation? Of course not! That’s not how the world works and truthfully speaking, it’s not how it should work.
But that’s not the end of the post. I’m not going to be blunt with you and just say “there’s not one answer, now fek off”. I’m not going to do that to you! At the same time, my word is not final, and this blog was never set up to proclaim myself a guru, or to tell people what to do and shower you with my poetry. This blog was created to place some of my thoughts, creative pieces and experiences onto a platform that might inspire or give some form of a help to those who might be searching the internet for it… just like I used to… still do.
With that in mind, I shall continue. The biggest example of this is probably within love and friendships. The search to find out when a crush, a date, a partner is taking advantage, or when they are no longer worth your love and effort. The discussion you have with yourself to confront the possibility that you and a friend just might not have a healthy relationship, or that something is a miss. So, with these two as the largest examples I’m gonna say what I think is the best approach to it all, while also mentioning the smaller subjects that generally link in the same.
Friendships and Relationships can be toxic. Personally the only relationship (I put that in italics for a reason) I’ve ever been in was with a girl in primary school and a summer fling that I can’t actually remember much of in later primary school. Yeah, exactly, not the worlds most experienced guy on that front. Having said that, it does not mean I have not loved, have not been in love, or for that matter been close to a standard relationship. I have been rather unlucky, and have made mistakes of my own. It is these two things and the amount of times some things have happened that makes me feel I have a strong place in this discussion. Countless, often painful, times the same question has come to my mind or has been forced into my mind by caring friends or family members. “To let go or not to let go? That is the question.” The same again goes for friendships, except I have been luckier on that side, I have met some of the greatest, most supportive people in my entire life. Yet with such beauty has to come the ugliness, the people who are just as toxic as the relationships you can get yourself into. The people who take advantage of you just as severely as a possible partner or a whatever-she/he-is-to-you. It hurts, its shakes you up, and it breaks your faith in future encounters.
“But Liam, you still haven’t gotten anywhere near telling us when to let go and when not too, stop stalling!” Yes, yes I know, I promise I’m getting there. Unfortunately the explanation is just as complicated as the answer. You see, as cliché as this sounds, it just is a feeling…sort of. It’s part feeling, part common bloody sense.
There is a time when everything feels completely wrong and it no longer feels like it belongs to you. If it’s a relationship, you know when it is more than an argument, when it’s something you don’t trust anymore. If it’s a crush, you know when it’s not worth it and when it’s not being returned. If it’s a career you have a feeling that if you do it for the rest of your life you might go insane. Well… You think you do. There is a mixture between this overbearing feeling of thinking you know and at the same time a niggling of “what if?”.
That’s where the common bloody sense comes in. Listen here matey, you either hold onto that girl/boy and get through this shit or you realise all its doing is hurting you and you get over it and be proud of that decision. You either try to make that friendship work, or you realise that that friendship is one sided, that neither of you are happy and you find someone that you can be happy with. You quit your job, or your journey to that job, knowing it’s not your calling or you run at that bitch with all your might and drive and be what you wanna be .
Whatever you do, do something.
Don’t live a life in limbo, where nothing is even a little bit stable and doesn’t give you complete joy. As you can see by the cryptic nature of this explanation and of every deconstruction of this subject there will ever be, it’s never simple. It’s long and stressful but finding the right decision is important. Think about it, think about what you need and what will make you happy.
Fight for it. Let it go. Do something.
Liam Xavier 