Whatever happened, don’t forget it.

As I write this it is the 10th January 2016, and I haven’t written any sort of blog post related to the new year yet! Awful, I know! What’s more is amongst the book reviews, music reviews and general blog posts I’ve put up, I haven’t written a proper lifestyle/advice post in 4 months! Shameful! Well, 10 days into the new year, I’m going to cheat ever so slightly and write about a phrase that a lot of people said when 2016 clocked in, and that have said it many times before in the previous new years.

That phrase, dear readers is “leave it in 2015” or whatever respective year is being left behind, referring to shitty friends, or situations that felt like the world was against them, or just one rainy day that made life that little harder. My spin on it is “kind of leave it in 2016, but bring the ‘eggs’ with you”. Let me explain the ‘egg’ inclusion, so recently I’ve been writing an essay on Woody Allen’s film Annie Hall for university, and at the end there is a joke which always sticks with me upon watching the film. Credit of course goes to Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman the writers of the script, but the joke goes as follows:

“It reminds me of that old joke y’know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, hey doc, my brother’s crazy! He thinks he’s a chicken. Then the doc says, why don’t you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that’s how I feel about relationships. They’re totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.”

Genius quote in my opinion, as are many of Allen’s other pieces of dialogue, but although, coming from a romantic comedy film, it is specific to relationships, I think the overall idea is universal. If you couldn’t already decipher from the quote, what it’s saying (my interpretation anyway) is that as much as we struggled, and are hurt in relationships we continue going through them because we need the products of our labour; the eggs.

So going back to my original alternative to that popular phrase, that takes over the internet at new years, “kind of leave it in 2015, but bring the ‘eggs’ with you”. Hopefully that makes a little more sense now, but just in case it doesn’t let me continue further. Going through life without any figurative scratches, bruises, burns and broken hearts its nearly impossible, and so it should be! It’s good to be familiar with the bad, to be humbled enough to appreciate that when we’re happy and things are going well that we really are happy and things really are going well. Too many people, myself included, go through stages of depression, or stages of difficulty in their life and then when they’re out of that part cannot understand it. They become so used to experiencing difficulties or sadness, or stress that when it’s not around it just feels normal, well not normal but average rather than good and happy! So that if they then go back to being upset, they find themselves regretting not appreciating their happiness.

One of the best ways to understand that happiness, or the luckiness we now feel, or the road that is now in front of us is by looking at the ‘eggs’. I’m not talking about children from a failed relationship (although that would work) and I’m certainly not talking about literal eggs that have survived the winter! I’m talking about what it allowed you to learn, what it left you with, the realisation of your bravery. “Brave? I’m not brave!” is often the reaction I’ve heard or read from people I’ve given advice to and called brave or have seen online and it’s a shame to hear. Now, don’t get the wrong idea and think every person I’ve given some sort of advice to, I’ve called brave as part of it, that’s not true, it’s just that in my almost 21 years of being I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of the most incredibly brave people! One of the best ways of realising it is by asking yourself “Did I survive it?” if the answer is yes, you have already been brave, in some form or another. Without being too morbid, surviving serious traumas in life, or even smaller bumps in the road can be seriously seriously difficult. So if you’ve survived it, well done. Now, if you haven’t already it’s time to work on moving on from it, and this is where I feel a lot of people make things slightly more difficult for themselves – but then I am no guru and different things work for different people – but still. This is where my problem with “leave it in 2015” as a straight and strict statement comes in… okay so you’re leaving it there? But what now? The trouble with a lot of things that differ in severity is that unless they are confronted with, and accepted as happening it can be difficult to ever move on. It can stay with you for years, and really stunt your progression, I’m speaking from experience, and I won’t go too in depth because this isn’t meant to be a sob story for me, but for years I repressed a lot of emotions towards something that happened in my life and it wasn’t until I properly confronted it that I was able to move on. It doesn’t make perfection, problems may arise again, but it will make things a lot easier if you have already confronted a previous one.

So lastly, how do you confront it and bring the eggs with you? Simply put, learn from it. Nasty relationship? Think about what happened, don’t blame yourself for everything, but realise any fault you made, while at the same time realising faults that they made and don’t hold a grudge because of it, but use those realisations to work towards preventing it happening again. The same goes for friendships, don’t lose trust in people, but be more careful, work out what went wrong, and attempt to avoid it, sometimes you may become friends with people and not realise it from the start. But as soon as you see signs of someone that isn’t treating you well, or as a friend should, be aware of how much effort you’re putting in. Far from friendships and relationships, if it was a bereavement, an illness or a mental difficulty, look at how you got through, you are strong, and you are brave and you must remember that.

Happy New Year everyone, make it count.

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